To my one and only,

I am sorry for all the soap, scrubs, the sprays, the chemicals. I am sorry for the burning of lasers. For scrubbing you so clean that it hurt you. I am sorry for lying about the colour of your strawberry hair. I am sorry for all the intrusions. The poking, the prodding, the examinations. I am sorry for not looking after you.

But I am the most sorry for not speaking up when you were handled too roughly. I am sorry for the violations. For the assaults on you. I am sorry for the trespasses that I could not protect you from. I am sorry for the virus that you must now share a home with. I am sorry for the stigma that comes with that virus.

For a long time you have repulsed me. I was ashamed of everything about you. You weren't permitted even the faintest scent. You weren't permitted to leak or secrete. You weren’t allowed to have hair. You weren't allowed dips and folders and crevice.

Everything about you was wrong. Somehow you simultaneously held all of my worth yet were worthless.

We moved through the world together yet entirely disconnected.

I never wanted anyone to see you. You were disgusting... I am just so sorry for treating you like this...